Why men should always pay

I am no glamour model and spend a large portion of my life in tracksuit bottoms and Ugg boots, however when asked out on a date there are certain things I do to prepare:

THE BARE MINIMUM

1. Manicure and pedicure - £50
2. Blow Dry - £30
3. Spray tan - £35
4. Eyebrow threading - £20
5. Eyelash tint - £20
6. Waxing - £50

GENERAL MAINTAINENCE

7. Botox and  Filler, 3 times per year - £1500
8. Highlights, 6 times per year - £300
9. Hair cut, 3 times per year - £150
10. Facial, 8 times per year - £400
11. I will also spend thousands of pounds yearly on face creams, cellulite creams, makeup etc

IF HES REALLY HOT

12. I will invest in a new outfit approx £350

Not only does this add up to a LOT of money it's also bloody time consuming and extremely tedious.

When a man prepares for a date he will (if your lucky) do the following

1. Hair cut - £30

So the least he can do is pay for dinner no?

Unforgiveable things for a straight man to wear

Moccasins

Leopard or Zebra print

Satin 

Shirt and tie "sets" from Next

Beads and necklaces in general

Swarovski crystals especially on belts

Ugg Boots

Shirts with embroidered motifs on the back e.g a dragon

Harem pants

Thongs

3/4 length trousers

Headbands (unless playing sport)

Jeans from M and S

Batwing jumpers

Off-white boxer shorts or boxer shorts with cartoon characters on

*If your husband/boyfriend wears or owns any of the above I would advise either you leave him or burn the items immediately

Achilles heel

I always think you know when you will have sex with someone, often way before you actually do - on this occasion I knew a year before I met him and way before I'd seen photographic evidence of him!
When my new BFF Alex told me about his childhood buddy Dirk (not his real name but suits him far too well), apparently very funny, with a sharp tongue and a penchant for strippers the self titled "Mr Darcy of the Royal Borough" I knew in an instant I just...would.
My biggest downfall in life has been I just cannot resist a bad boy...

http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achilles_Heel_(disambiguation)